hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
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