Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
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