all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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