i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Randomize
