Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
