Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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