is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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