She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize