So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
