but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
