Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Toronto

  i flashed his best friends last night

  (1-416): View more from Toronto

  you always were good at making good first impressions

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  (416): i flashed his best friends last night (1-416): you always were good at making good first impressions http://tfl.nu/b564
  Replies (10) Good night (3825) Bad night (1410)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.

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  (970): I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive. http://tfl.nu/p82j
  Replies (4) Good night (2294) Bad night (1422)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"

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  (603): i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws" http://tfl.nu/3sed
  Replies (3) Good night (3263) Bad night (1128)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.

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  (813): So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer. http://tfl.nu/hmny
  Replies (5) Good night (1027) Bad night (3184)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth

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  (203): I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth http://tfl.nu/68yw
  Replies (38) Good night (5442) Bad night (1589)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on

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  (713): Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on http://tfl.nu/6fw7
  Replies (5) Good night (2621) Bad night (1492)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.

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  (713): The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever. http://tfl.nu/rdxs
  Replies (2) Good night (1431) Bad night (548)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.

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  (864): I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel. http://tfl.nu/63se
  Replies (4) Good night (1920) Bad night (757)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.

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  (920): She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future. http://tfl.nu/bxh5
  Replies (7) Good night (1483) Bad night (829)
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  (415): View more from California

  I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week

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  (415): I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week http://tfl.nu/hrh1
  Replies (1) Good night (1042) Bad night (1215)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.

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  (815): I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed. http://tfl.nu/jn5l
  Replies (7) Good night (526) Bad night (1872)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today

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  (231): FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today http://tfl.nu/dvgl
  Replies (5) Good night (1837) Bad night (546)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.

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  (321): Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed. http://tfl.nu/dayu
  Replies (2) Good night (629) Bad night (298)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.

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  (423): A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice. http://tfl.nu/al3p
  Replies (0) Good night (844) Bad night (228)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.

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  (540): I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being. http://tfl.nu/xpnl
  Replies (1) Good night (187) Bad night (460)

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