Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.