i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.