Texts From Last Night

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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.

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  (507): I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it. http://tfl.nu/rt4x
  Replies (7) Good night (3738) Bad night (812)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day

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  (302): just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day http://tfl.nu/bsdz
  Replies (6) Good night (5225) Bad night (824)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me

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  (321): i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me http://tfl.nu/5b8j
  Replies (10) Good night (3103) Bad night (1052)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.

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  (403): the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask. http://tfl.nu/zsyi
  Replies (1) Good night (994) Bad night (2478)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.

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  (917): The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join. http://tfl.nu/f8od
  Replies (12) Good night (976) Bad night (1816)
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  (209): View more from California

  Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.

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  (209): Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid. http://tfl.nu/85w7
  Replies (8) Good night (2284) Bad night (644)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.

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  (405): I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again. http://tfl.nu/ydjf
  Replies (12) Good night (514) Bad night (2072)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.

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  (330): Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum. http://tfl.nu/36en
  Replies (8) Good night (1510) Bad night (747)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.

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  (908): I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats. http://tfl.nu/npuf
  Replies (7) Good night (1646) Bad night (733)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.

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  (480): I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other. http://tfl.nu/zykp
  Replies (12) Good night (1155) Bad night (639)
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  (947): View more from Michigan

  He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me

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  (947): He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me http://tfl.nu/9cbm
  Replies (19) Good night (988) Bad night (1808)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.

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  (610): I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents. http://tfl.nu/hwmn
  Replies (8) Good night (1814) Bad night (634)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."

  (404): View more from Georgia

  That's how I look going for the pbr.

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  (404): I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there." (404): That's how I look going for the pbr. http://tfl.nu/2uqj
  Replies (11) Good night (904) Bad night (297)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.

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  (210): If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you. http://tfl.nu/xqg1
  Replies (3) Good night (427) Bad night (226)
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  (805): View more from California

  you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends

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  (805): you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends http://tfl.nu/d359
  Replies (5) Good night (226) Bad night (542)

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