i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.