He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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