I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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