I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
