I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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