I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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