You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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