Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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