What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
