Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
