i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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