He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
