I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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