Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
