1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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