we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
ok first of all what the fuck
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
