i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I could fuck to npr.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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