i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
