I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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