I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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