if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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