If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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