bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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