He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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