Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
i now understand why vodka
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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