I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
