I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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