For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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