Define "chronic" masturbator.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
