If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
