Quick, to the slutcave!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
