I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
