I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
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My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
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Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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