Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
even my farts smell like vagina
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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