So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
