her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
