remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
how does that bad decision feel?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
