we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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