I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
