a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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