it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
