I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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