Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
