Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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