My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
