She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
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and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
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Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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