he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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